Telling a man that he “needs to go into his feminine side” is just about as effective as telling a woman that she “needs to go into her masculine side.” Talking about “integrating head and heart” gets closer to the essence of the general intent, but still falls short for many to grasp the nuance of the meaning.
In our search for the New Compassionate Male, Dennis Tardan, my producer, and I talk with many fascinating people. Bringing them together for small group conversations adds depth, breadth and richness to our search.
Jerry Tello has appeared in Time, Newsweek, Latina and Lowrider magazines and has received many major awards including: the Maria Shriver’s Annual Advocate for Change award; the White House Champions of Change award; the Presidential Crime Victims Service award, presented by President Bill Clinton and Attorney General Janet Reno; two California Governor’s Awards and the Ambassador of Peace Award presented by Rotary international.
Jerry is considered an international expert in the areas of trauma, healing, men and boys of color, fatherhood, family strengthening, racial justice, racial healing, community peace and mobilization and culturally based violence prevention and intervention issues.
He is co-founder of the National Compadres Network. He has authored numerous articles, videos and curricula addressing the issues of Fatherhood, Male “Rites of Passage,” relationship and gang violence prevention, racial justice, teen fatherhood, pregnancy prevention, family strengthening, fatherhood literacy and community peace.
Jerry is the author of “A Fathers Love”, a series of children’s books, co-editor of Family Violence and Men of Color, a series of motivational health and healing CD’s and author of the recently released award winning book “Recovering Your Sacredness.”
Jerry is from a family of Mexican, Texan and (Koa-wilt-con) roots and raised in the south central, Compton areas of Los Angeles.
Gard Jameson received his PhD from Pacifica Graduate Institute in 2005 and his BA from Stanford University in Religious Studies. He teaches Asian Philosophy at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. He is the author of five books, Footprints on the Sands of Time, Phaethon, Monkey, and Ramayana, Our Mythic Moment, the last three books reflecting upon three grand epics from the West, China and India. He and his wife cofounded Volunteers in Medicine of Southern Nevada, vmsn.org, a charitable clinic that provides free medical, dental, and mental healthcare to those without access. He serves as the Vice Chair of The Charter for Compassion, Co-Founder of the Children’s Advocacy Alliance, caanv.org, Co-Founder of the Southern Nevada Interfaith Council, interfaithsn.org, and Compassionate Las Vegas, compassionatelv.org. He also serves as the outreach coordinator of Contemplative Outreach, founded by Thomas Keating, in Southern Nevada. His latest book is titled The Peace Pilgrim Pictures, using the images of the magnificent artwork of Nicholas Roerich, to illustrate the spiritual journey.
About Search of the New Compassionate Male with Clay Boykin. I am convinced that amidst all the turmoil in the world a New Compassionate Male is emerging, and this New Compassionate Male is emerging as the New Archetype. ~ I am on a journey to every corner of the planet. I am on a journey within; a journey of self discovery to learn what it means to be a compassionate male. ~ I do not have the answer, but I know there is a spark of compassion emerging within every man and within every woman. Regardless of sexual orientation, nationality or religious tradition I invite you to join me. Let’s travel together and find answers to questions like: Who is this man? What makes him compassionate? Is he born this way, or how is compassion learned? Is there a place or time where compassion is not relevant? How many ways does the compassionate male show up in the world Together, we can find him. Together, we can hold a mirror up for one another and find the compassion within ourselves. ~ The more adversity there is in the world, the hotter the ember of compassion burns within. It may be smoldering and unrecognizable at the moment, or burning brightly lighting and warming others. ~ Who is the New Compassionate Male? Join me in our search.
Free On Amazon: Circles of Men: A Counter-Intuitive Approach to Creating Men’s Groups – Compassionate men gather differently. – “With this book, Clay Boykin has created a spiritual blueprint for men around the world. Not only does this book provide a detailed guide for starting and maintaining a men’s group, but it also contains rich insight into the struggles and challenges of being a spiritual male in today’s western culture.” – Review on Amazon
In our search I run across some wonderfully compassionate men. Julien Oomen is one such man. It was a pleasure to have him on my podcast. Julien Oomen is an Amsterdam-based musician who draws inspiration from spiritual ceremonies.
The larger part of his songs is triggered by the trainings and ceremonies of Ralph Nelissen of The Potential School who invites him to assist musically. While being a witness to the transformational process of many men and women, Julien moves closer to his own center of stillness. From that stillness, words and music come like waves.
In July 2018, Julien released “Oase Sessions I “, followed by “Oase Sessions II ” in April 2019.
A new full-length album, Both Sides Of The River, was released in December 2020.
For this record Julien saved up the songs in the past two years that were specifically triggered by trainings, workshops and ceremonies within the realm of men’s work. The songs touch on beautiful movements that are already happening: men coming alive in their fatherhood, or in brotherhood through men’s circles; in self-realisation and in knowing that there’s an alchemy in each human being that goes beyond binary notions of the “feminine” or “masculine”.
For live shows Julien often teams up with his partner Lenneke van Staalen, a master of (northern) Indian classical music on violin, who comps him in his songs as well as playing mesmerising improvisations. Other collaborations include Pernilla Kannapinn and Diego Nicolás Rodriguez.
Julien lives with his partner and daughter.
Next to music and family life, he devotes his time to Refugee Company and Stichting de Vrolijkheid, two organisations that further the socio-economic well-being of refugees through art, network, traineeships and soft-skill trainings.
With his longtime buddy Robin Block, Julien hosts a monthly Men’s Circle.
The men’s circle is about brotherhood: the realization that every man is a brother – and human being first – who roams around in the very same field that we call life, often with similar questions, goals and challenges. What can we learn from each other? How can we tap into our shared wisdom and support each other, even as complete strangers only meeting for the duration of one single men’s circle?
Together we create a space for each man to take his place and share his experiences; from a genuine desire to grow and inspire one another. Sometimes we work with a specific theme, but more often just with topics that come alive in the group during the circle. The circle helps you to step out of your daily routine, and to explore your views and choices in connection with others, sometimes in depth, sometimes humorously and playful.
Sharing experiences and listening to others already amounts to a lot. But besides sharings we will also do meditative and physical exercises to further integrate some of the insights attained in the circle, and to connect the head to the heart and body.
Friday night my dear friend, John Fleming, along with my producer, Dennis Tardan, and I recorded a deep, passionate and meaningful conversation about the murder of George Floyd and racism in America. I consider John to be an example of the New Compassionate Male standing in his truth with an open heart. His message is powerful and needs to be heard. A word of caution, you may be triggered by some of what is shared. I invite you to listen to this excerpt in its entirety. Additional excerpts will follow in the coming days.
John Fleming is a Prayer Chaplain and a true servant leader and volunteer at Unity Church of the Hills in Austin Texas. He is on the music team, is a Prayer Chaplain, and he is part of the Pastoral Care Team. John is Director, Advocacy and Partner Relations – Survive2Thrive Foundation | Staff Staff Services Officer at the Texas DSHS/Vital Statistics Unit.
The other day I shared a clip from this conversation. Here is the full episode.
“There is a revolution taking place, right now, and it is time for us all, who have been interested in these ideas, to get to work at making the world better for us and those around us.” – Christopher Howell