The New Compassionate Male and the Myth of Liminality
By: Clay Boykin
During the 12th century the myth of the Holy Grail surfaced. Since then, countless stories and legends have been written about it including, stories about King Arthur and his knights and, in more recent times, Raiders of the Lost Ark. The Holy Grail is said to be an artifact from the Bible and to have supernatural powers to heal, and to grant immortality to anyone who drinks water from it.
In the Grail Myth, the Fisher King has a grave wound that will not heal. As a result, his kingdom is also very ill. The people are sick. Crops will not grow. Cows will not give milk. And commerce is at a standstill. The only thing that will cure the king is for a happy fool, Parsifal, which means happy fool, to come and ask him the right question.
Parsifal comes to the castle and visits the king. By his bedside he asks the king, “What ails you?” The king replies that his throat is dry and that he is thirsty. Parsifal takes a cup of water from the table and hands it to the king. As the king drinks his body begins to heal, and the cup turns to gold and becomes the Holy Grail.
Parsifal’s act of asking and giving is an act of compassion, and from this I believe compassion “is” the Holy Grail.
In his book, Cosmos and Psyche, Richard Tarnas points to three great myths that are playing out today. These are, (1) the myth of Human Progress, (2) the myth of the Fall, and (3) the myth of No Pattern.
The myth of Human Progress represents man’s desire for more but does not know to what end; and is rooted in patriarchy. The myth of the Fall is represented by the thought that humanity is losing its intelligence and wisdom, and as a result, is destroying mankind and the planet. The myth of No Pattern, suggests that everything is totally random and man has no say in the matter.
I submit that there is a fourth myth. It is the Myth of Liminality. Liminality is a state of transition between one stage and the next, especially between major stages in one’s life or during a rite of passage. More and more people talk about the world being on the verge of a great transition; that the planets are aligned, and say that we are in the liminal space. – At times I have referred to it as, the pause of change.
Like the knights searching for the Holy Grail, I am In Search of the New Compassionate Male. The New Compassionate Male has integrated head and heart, and carries the metaphoric-sword in one hand, and Compassion in the other.
Compassion is the Holy Grail and in it is the water of life. The water that cured the Fisher King. It is the water that will cure us of all the pain we now suffer, the ache and void within, the burn of shame and anger; the fear, greed and hate that is destroying humanity and the planet.
We are living out the Liminality Myth and now is the time for the New Compassionate Male to take his place into the liminal space and do his part to heal the world.
Skip Swies has been counseling couples, families and individuals for 37 years. During this time, Skip has assisted his clients in identifying and overcoming obstacles on the path toward achieving their goals of closeness and understanding. Currently is working with Life Coach Austin.
His training began at Otterbein University where he held a double major in psychology and education. In 1983 Skip began teaching personal growth intensives and coaching individuals and couples for Global Relationship Centers( GRC). In 1994 he moved his family from Boulder, CO, to Austin where he joined the staff of GRC to train the future instructors while continuing to lead seminars across the country.
Beginning in the late 80s, Skip got involved with Men’s Work and joined his first Men’s group. Shortly after he developed his own seminar weekend entitled Finding the Father. In this experience the men examined the ” father wound” starting with the relationship they had with their fathers. This course and a sister course for women ran for about 10 years.
For the past 7 years, Skip has committed his expertise to “Healing Warrior Hearts”. A weekend to assist service members and their spouses in dealing with the challenges that life after service can present. The goal is to bring our service members more fully home!
Skip and his wife of 46 years have taught together for 37 years and still coach together. Their 3 children and 3 grandchildren all live in Texas.
“Seeing the other clearly and allowing the other to see you, is essential in creating empowering relationships”. – Skip
Mandalas take on countless sizes, shapes and forms and are a tool for gaining perspective, expanding thought and relaxing the mind.
Excerpt from the Power of Myth:
CAMPBELL: “Mandala” is the Sanskrit word for “circle,” but a circle that is coordinated or symbolically designed so that it has the meaning of a cosmic order. When composing mandalas, you are trying to coordinate your personal circle with the universal circle. In a very elaborate Buddhist mandala, for example, you have the deity in the center as the power source, the illumination source. The peripheral images would be manifestations or aspects of the deity’s radiance.
In working out a mandala for yourself, you draw a circle and then think of the different impulse systems and value systems in your life. Then you compose them and try to find out where your center is. Making a mandala is a discipline for pulling all those scattered aspects of your life together, for finding a center and ordering yourself to it. You try to coordinate your circle with the universal circle.
MOYERS: To be at the center?
CAMPBELL: At the center, yes….
My personal mandala has been evolving over the past few years. It is the place I can go at any time to pause and reflect, to pray, to meditate, or just sit in quiet contemplation in an empty space between the lines for a while. – Clay Boykin
The Myth Salon recently hosted Clay Boykin and his producer, Dennis Tardan, who are in search of the new compassionate male. It is no secret that centuries of patriarchy and a skewed sense of masculinity bear much of the responsibility for steering humanity away from the nature and the deep feminine. Male empowerment has formed the foundation upon which our current cultural and political conditions rest. Clay Boykin and Dennis Tardan believe that amidst the turmoil in the world the new compassionate male is emerging as the new archetype. While much of their work may focus on transforming males and the masculine, the core values and principles evoke the relational qualities of the deep feminine. Based in Austin, Texas, they are engaging thought leaders who have developed conversations with enlightened people of all stripes and we are deeply privileged to have had them at The Myth Salon this month to explore this new paradigm.
The Myth Salon recently hosted Clay Boykin and his producer, Dennis Tardan, who are in search of the new compassionate male. It is no secret that centuries of patriarchy and a skewed sense of masculinity bear much of the responsibility for steering humanity away from the nature and the deep feminine. Male empowerment has formed the foundation upon which our current cultural and political conditions rest. Clay Boykin and Dennis Tardan believe that amidst the turmoil in the world the new compassionate male is emerging as the new archetype. While much of their work may focus on transforming males and the masculine, the core values and principles evoke the relational qualities of the deep feminine. Based in Austin, Texas, they are engaging thought leaders who have developed conversations with enlightened people of all stripes and we are deeply privileged to have had them at The Myth Salon this month to explore this new paradigm.
The Myth Salon recently hosted Clay Boykin and his producer, Dennis Tardan, who are in search of the new compassionate male. It is no secret that centuries of patriarchy and a skewed sense of masculinity bear much of the responsibility for steering humanity away from the nature and the deep feminine. Male empowerment has formed the foundation upon which our current cultural and political conditions rest. Clay Boykin and Dennis Tardan believe that amidst the turmoil in the world the new compassionate male is emerging as the new archetype. While much of their work may focus on transforming males and the masculine, the core values and principles evoke the relational qualities of the deep feminine. Based in Austin, Texas, they are engaging thought leaders who have developed conversations with enlightened people of all stripes and we are deeply privileged to have had them at The Myth Salon this month to explore this new paradigm.
The last fifteen years of Carl Jung’s life were lived against the backdrop of the Cold War—that time in our global history when most of the nations of the world were aligned either with the “West” or with the “Communist bloc.” Intermittently throughout this time the people of the world held their breath as they watched confrontations between the United States and the Soviet Union heat up. During one such tense time members of the Psychological Club in Zurich asked Jung if he thought there would be an atomic war. Barbara Hannah recalled his reply:
“I think it depends on how many people can stand the tension of the opposites in themselves. If enough can do so, I think the situation will just hold, and we shall be able to creep around innumerable threats and thus avoid the worst catastrophe of all: the final clash of opposites in an atomic war. But if there are not enough and such a war should break out, I am afraid it would inevitably mean the end of our civilization as so many civilizations have ended in the past but on a smaller scale.”
“…I had learned that all the greatest and most important problems of life are fundamentally insoluble…. They can never be solved, but only outgrown.”
Charles Barker MD, MPH is founder and president of Compassionate Dallas/Fort Worth, a non-profit organization that promotes the Charter for Compassion, the value of compassion and compassionate action in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex, using the Golden Rule as operating principle.
He is currently president of Compassionate DFW and moderator of the Board of Directors, a board representing all twelve sectors of the international Charter and encourages and coordinates the Community Campaigns, as well as partnerships in the DFW area. His background and experience is in the field of medicine, with emphasis in preventive medicine and biomedical ethics, frequently facilitating medical school ethics sessions at University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. He is currently authoring a book centered on being and becoming excellent, a series of reflections.
Dana C. White, PhD – A graduate of Occidental College and the University of Southern California, Dana White received his PhD in Mythological Studies from Pacifica Graduate Institute in 2003. His dissertation is titled “Re-Imagining Work: Awakening the Call of Right Livelihood.” He currently serves as a contributing faculty member at Pacifica and as a reader on numerous doctoral dissertation committees.
He is the father of two sons, Michael and Andrew. He and his wife Michele live in Santa Monica with Odys – their 4-month old Whoodle (Wheaton Terrier and Poodle). He is a published poet, runs marathons, cooks and gardens.
Over the course of his career, Dana has worked in radio and industrial television, as a vice president of marketing for Merrill Lynch, and as an academic department chair at an art college. He edits and designs books, produces films and motion media for universities, corporations and non-profits, and is a professional photographer with more than 40 books to his credit.
He currently produces and hosts the Myth Salon, a venture he co-founded in 2016 with Dr. Will Linn, who serves as the moderator of the Myth Salon, which used to meet monthly in Dana’s home but now, because of the pandemic, convenes every other week in an online Zoom Webinar session that features a well-known presenter, a group of scholar-educator panelists, and an online audience.
Dana C. White, PhD – A graduate of Occidental College and the University of Southern California, Dana White received his PhD in Mythological Studies from Pacifica Graduate Institute in 2003. His dissertation is titled “Re-Imagining Work: Awakening the Call of Right Livelihood.” He currently serves as a contributing faculty member at Pacifica and as a reader on numerous doctoral dissertation committees.
He is the father of two sons, Michael and Andrew. He and his wife Michele live in Santa Monica with Odys – their 4-month old Whoodle (Wheaton Terrier and Poodle). He is a published poet, runs marathons, cooks and gardens.
Over the course of his career, Dana has worked in radio and industrial television, as a vice president of marketing for Merrill Lynch, and as an academic department chair at an art college. He edits and designs books, produces films and motion media for universities, corporations and non-profits, and is a professional photographer with more than 40 books to his credit.
He currently produces and hosts the Myth Salon, a venture he co-founded in 2016 with Dr. Will Linn, who serves as the moderator of the Myth Salon, which used to meet monthly in Dana’s home but now, because of the pandemic, convenes every other week in an online Zoom Webinar session that features a well-known presenter, a group of scholar-educator panelists, and an online audience.
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