I received a call from an old friend the other evening. He was triggered and railing about the pandemic, and the impact it was having on him, the possible impact to his health and his small business. True concerns. But the victimhood and railing went on, and on, and on.
Eventually, I began to feel as though he was attacking me and I became defensive. I was now clearly triggered. This only added fuel to the fire. The call did not end well, and I was left shaking.
I woke up the next morning from a fitful sleep thinking aboutThe Four Agreementsby Don Miguel Ruiz.
Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
I asked myself, “How am I showing up in the world today. How could I be showing up? What is mine to do?
I found my answers in this video clip I created a few years ago. It reminded me that when I sit still and go within, I already have the answers.
Ram Dass wrote a letter some years ago to a family who had lost their young daughter, Rachel. Although he wrote it to these two parents specifically, everything in this letter applies to anyone who has lost a child.
Dear Steve and Anita,
Rachel finished her work on earth, and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts, as the fragile thread of our faith is dealt with so violently. Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teaching as you are receiving? Probably very few. And even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief, horror and desolation.
I can’t assuage your pain with any words, nor should I. For your pain is Rachel’s legacy to you. Not that she or I would inflict such pain by choice, but there it is. And it must burn its purifying way to completion. For something in you dies when you bear the unbearable, and it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees, and to love as God loves.
Now is the time to let your grief find expression. No false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to Rachel, and thank her for being with you these few years, and encourage her to go on with whatever her work is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience. In my heart, I know that you and she will meet again and again, and recognize the many ways in which you have known each other. And when you meet you will know, in a flash, what now it is not given to you to know: Why this had to be the way it was.
Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts – if we can keep them open to God – will find their own intuitive way. Rachel came through you to do her work on earth, which includes her manner of death. Now her soul is free, and the love that you can share with her is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space.
The Gender Equity and Reconciliation process seeks to heal the profound wounds around gender, sexuality, and relational intimacy. It brings together people of all sexual orientations and genders to jointly confront gender disharmony to reach healing reconciliation. Will and Cynthia have developed the method over 28 years, introducing the practices in nine countries.
Gender reconciliation’s startling successes in South Africa have played a role in transforming that country’s AIDS and HIV policies, and exciting new academic research on the program is underway at two South African universities. Learn more about the work of Will Keepin and Cynthia Brix via their organization, Gender Reconciliation International.
Will Keepin and Cynthia Brix with Bishop Desmond Tutu
This powerful presentation is well worth pausing for.
Rod Haden, Producer of Caterpillar Goo, interviews men from the Men’s Fellowship Network: Circles of Men Project on various topics related to men, compassion and mindfulness, and the counter-intuitive approach Clay Boykin uses to create a safe space for men to learn trust and connect on a heart level.
Rod Haden, Producer of Caterpillar Goo, interviews men from the Men’s Fellowship Network: Circles of Men Project on various topics related to men, compassion and mindfulness, and the counter-intuitive approach Clay Boykin uses to create a safe space for men to learn trust and connect on a heart level.
Leadership is not about personality; it’s about behavior—an observable set of skills and abilities. The “Leadership Challenge” by Jim Kouze and Bary Posner has been a favorite of mine throughout my 39 year career spanning the USMC, Corporate hi-tech, start-ups and small established businesses.
The Leadership Challenge addresses 5 leadership practices:
1) Modeling the way,
2) Inspire a shared vision,
3) Challenge the process,
4) Enable others to act,
5) Encourage the heart.
Whether in uniform, suit or jeans these practices stand the test of time, and yes, a spiritual male can be on top at work.
If you're looking for clarity or just need a fresh perspective, I'm here to help. Click here for a complimentary 20-minute 1:1 chat. No pressure, just a conversation to see how I can support you on your journey.
