Aristotle laid out the philosophical foundation of friendship as the art of holding up a mirror to each other’s souls. Two millennia later, Emerson contemplated its two pillars of truth and tenderness. Another century later, C.S. Lewis wrote: “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam cara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and cara is the word for friend. So anam cara in the Celtic world was the “soul friend.” In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam cara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam cara you could share your inner-most self, your mind and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam cara, your friendship cut across all convention, morality, and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the “friend of your soul.” The Celtic understanding did not set limitations of space or time on the soul. There is no cage for the soul. The soul is a divine light that flows into you and into your Other. This art of belonging awakened and fostered a deep and special companionship.John O’Donohue
Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdomoffers an exploration of the secret universe we all carry inside us, the connections we forge with the worlds of our friends and loved ones, and the products of our worlds reflected in the things we create outside of ourselves. Anam Cara, Gaelic for “soul friend,” is an ancient journey down a nearly forgotten path of wisdom into what it means to be human. Drawing on this age-old perspective, John O’Donohue helps us to see ourselves as the Celts did: we’re more than just flesh, blood, and bone; we comprise individual worlds. The comprehension of the sublime architecture of the worlds we are born with will engender a new appreciation for the outside world and the way we contribute to its evolution.
Anam Cara , the Soul Friend – A short video clip perspective
“Celtic spiritualism. Living Anam Cara is exciting, fulfilling and a bit tense at times…. for our culture does not promote the true experience of kinship, even among mixed gender relationships, which Anam Cara brings forth. I’ve defied social conventions before and will probably do so until the last breath escapes my lungs. Choosing to live Anam Cara is not a decision I regret. Knowing I’m supported by others in that quest is very affirming.” – Gary Carlile
***
“I would like to thank our soul friend Gary Carlile for bringing forth the idea of Anam Cara, soul friend. I see and feel the presence of many soul friends within our circle. Whether present and spiritually connected on a Monday night, or spiritually connected from afar, our energy bonds us at a sacred depth, and for this, I am grateful.” – Clay Boykin
“A friend … awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you.”
Brené Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share. (Filmed at TEDxHouston.)
The Power of Vulnerability – TED Talk by Brené Brown
At times some of us have a tendency to associate the term “self-love” with narcissism; self-centeredness, or being egotistical, which leaves us with a bit of a conundrum. We don’t want to be thought of as a narcissist, and we have grown up being told not to be self-centered. This, then, raises the question, how can I love myself without being narcissistic?
In his interview, Psycho-Spiritual Scientist & Empowerment Specialist Ashraf Moorad uses the term “self-appreciation” as a window through which to view oneself.
Self-Love & Self Appreciation : The Key to The Spiritual Dimension
Dwelling in guilt is like living your life with an anchor tied to your ankles dragging you down.
Learning to accept the things that we perceive as wrong can be a difficult task for many of us. Often we have been brought up to accept that it is normal to feel guilty about our actions and that by doing so we will make everything seem alright within ourselves. Even though we might feel that we have a reason to make up for the choices we have made, it is much more important for us to learn how to deal with them in a healthy and positive way, such as through forgiveness and understanding.
When we can look back at our past and really assess what has happened, we begin to realize that there are many dimensions to our actions. While feeling guilty might assuage our feelings at first, it is really only a short-term solution. It is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy way out. If we truly are able to gaze upon our lives through the lens of compassion, however, we will be able to see that there is much more to what we do and have done than we realize. Perhaps we were simply trying to protect ourselves or others and did the best we could at the time, or maybe we thought we had no other recourse and chose a solution in the heat of the moment. Once we can understand that dwelling in our negative feelings will only make us feel worse, we will come to recognize that it is really only through forgiving ourselves that we can transform our feelings and truly heal any resentment we have about our past.
Giving ourselves permission to feel at peace with our past actions is one of the most positive steps we can take toward living a life free from regrets, disappointments, and guilt. The more we are able to remind ourselves that the true path to a peaceful mind and heart is through acceptance of every part of our lives and actions, the more harmony and inner joy we will experience in all aspects of our lives.
This article was originally published on the DailOM website. To register for your free DailyOM – Click here.
“Fear, not the kind where you fear for your life, but the kind of fear that makes you afraid you are going to say something stupid. The kind of fear that makes you self conscious and makes your heart beat a little too fast. That kind of fear is abundant in schools and businesses, and it is toxic. It robs people, from students to business people, of one of the most critical skills they need to be successful: creativity…” – Delise Crimmins – Chief Learning Officer at Opt In Experts
If you're looking for clarity or just need a fresh perspective, I'm here to help. Click here for a complimentary 20-minute 1:1 chat. No pressure, just a conversation to see how I can support you on your journey.
Aristotle laid out the philosophical foundation of friendship as the art of holding up a mirror to each other’s souls. Two millennia later, Emerson contemplated its two pillars of truth and tenderness. Another century later, C.S. Lewis wrote: “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam cara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and cara is the word for friend. So anam cara in the Celtic world was the “soul friend.” In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam cara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam cara you could share your inner-most self, your mind and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam cara, your friendship cut across all convention, morality, and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the “friend of your soul.” The Celtic understanding did not set limitations of space or time on the soul. There is no cage for the soul. The soul is a divine light that flows into you and into your Other. This art of belonging awakened and fostered a deep and special companionship. John O’Donohue
Daily Om – Releasing Guilt: Permission to Forgive Ourselves